About the time a woman’s pregnancy starts showing — say 5-6 months along — a silent signal goes out, and she is quickly inundated with advice. Some great, some good, some bad, and some freakin’ horrendous.
What I consider the best advice I’ve gotten has changed over the years as my children aged, but my current favorite is:
“If your child doesn’t periodically claim to hate you, you’re probably not doing it right.”
I heard this a lot during the preschool years, and again during the pre-teen ones and again during the mid-teens. The boys haven’t said it in a long time, but I still hear “I hate you” on a regular basis these days, thanks to the not-quite-sixteen-year-old who would desperately love to convince me that fifteen years, eleven months is “almost exactly the same” as sixteen. It’s almost a badge of honor to be such a “horrible, rotten mother” that her daughter isn’t allowed to go on car dates even though “everyone else is allowed to!” 🙂
The worst advice I ever got?
“To make sure your children respect you, you should spank them every single day.”
No, seriously. I got that one in a parking lot when I was hugely pregnant with my second child and trying to convince an overtired two-and-a-half-year-old that he absolutely had to wear shoes if he wanted to go into the store. The woman in the car next to mine suggested I give RC a “good slap across the face” and implied not doing so would result in his growing up to be a sex-and-drug addict with a drinking problem who would kill us all in our sleep, probably while singing show tunes.
It’s got to be one of the few times when I didn’t just think, “Holy hell, you’re insane” but said it out loud, while still near the crazy person.
So, what’s the best and worst advice you’ve ever gotten about parenting?
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The Mom Speaks 